clean freak
by Kouralia
Summary: AU where everything is the same, but Eren is just as bad of a clean freak as Levi. The members of the survey corps aren't pleased about being teamed up on. Now a series of oneshots taking place within the same general setting.
1. Cleanfreak

When Eren first heard that he was going to be kept at an old castle that hadn't been used in years, he wanted to scream. It was already bad enough that he'd been kept in that grimy dungeon for so long as his fate was being decided. The floor had been smeared with dirt, the bars caked in something vaguely sticky that he did not want to know about, and the sheets covered in dust. Still, there hadn't been much to do about it then, and Eren had to be content with trying not to get out of bed, dust being the lesser of several evils.

Don't get him wrong, Eren was fine with getting dirty when the situation called for it. And that was it, wasn't it? Riding a smelly, sweaty horse, splitting titan flesh and being coated in blood was all fine. And even as much as he internally griped about the cell, he had more important things on his mind. Most chiefly, his life and the survey corps. The point being, there was no good reason why he'd have to deal with a dusty former headquarters. Besides the whole Titan thing, of course. Oh well, Eren figured that someone on one of these horses were bringing cleaning material with them. He didn't really want to go on a huge cleaning spree, but if it had to be done, it had to be done.

Finally, they disembarked. While it was nice to see the outside world after his near death experience, the ride was uncomfortable what with being caught glancing over at Corporal Levi, and Auruo nearly biting his tongue off while trying to be intimidating. Which was strange. Eren already knew the reputations of all these people, and of course he knew they were the ones who would be taking him down in an emergency.

As Eren finished taking care of his horse, he huffed at the abundant weeds and debris surrounding the stable area. That wasn't a good sign at all. Eren hoped anew that someone would have the sense of mind to suggest putting the castle back into shape, because he couldn't exactly ask for their help, and would probably die of exhaustion trying to do it himself.

"-inside, a sea of dust is probably awaiting us." Eren overheard someone comment. He couldn't help wrinkling his nose at the confirmation of his fears. "Then we must sort it out immediately" Corporal Levi spoke next, and Eren's heart lifted. If it was the corporal, then surely everyone would have to participate.

"Oh, why are you grinning, brat? Thinking you can get out of it just because you're a kid?" Surprised, Eren turned to face the Corporal. "Of course not, sir!" Levi's face remained blank. "Alright. You can start by cleaning the basement, that's where you're staying. If you can't do that properly, then you can sleep in the filth." Eren grinned. "Thank you, sir." This was perfect, he could take care of his own living area first, without having to entrust it to someone less critical. Sure, it was in the basement again, but this time he'd be getting full reign over its maintenance. He'd be able to concentrate on making the rest of the castle spotless with the knowledge that he had somewhere sanitary to crawl into at the end of the day.

Eren immediately got to work, first with a broom and duster, then with a mop and bucket. There were suspicious stains and smells down in the basement, but nothing he couldn't deal with. Being both a clean freak, and relatively poor meant that Eren had perfected his cleaning strategy. Armin and Mikasa would constantly drag dirt everywhere, even though they didn't mean to. And it had only gotten worse when they were trainees. Oh yes, Eren had earned a reputation as the stain-master among the other recruits.

He lost track of time as he was seeing to the basement. It wasn't really Eren's fault, the basement was big, and probably even more dusty than the other rooms. Still, by the time someone came down to check up on him, he was just finishing up. To his pride, the walls were nearly sparkling, the floor completely spotless. "Hey, Eren, Corporal Levi says you need to get yourself to the upper floor- woah." Petra stopped herself as she took in the transformed space. "And the corporal just thought you were trying to avoid work. I think even he would be impressed. How did you get it so clean so fast?" Petra was incredulous. Eren chuckled, a little pleased from the attention. "I just like to keep things clean." Petra nodded, gazing around the room again. "I can see that. In any case, you should get to the upper floors and help with the cleaning there, and make sure corporal Levi knows you made it up there. He should still be working on the offices up there."

"Okay. I will take care of that as soon as I am done. It will only be a few more minutes." Eren quickly scrubbed the disinfectant into the table with extra vigor "Finish up with what?" He heard her speak quietly to herself. He elected not to answer, instead crouching under the table to get at the legs. Eren heard her walk back up the stairs, and he followed not long after.

The other members of corporal Levi's squad were significantly less impressed with Eren's cleaning habits. "What are you doing, I just cleaned that cabinet, newbie! You're wasting time." Auruo complained. Eren looked back from his position of spraying down the upper shelves. "Ah... you missed some spots." He explained innocently. "Bullshit, no I didn't. Stop screwing around and go scrub the floor, it hasn't been done yet."

Eren blinked. "But it's not clean. If I do the floor first, then the dust that falls from cleaning these shelves will stick to the floor and make a bigger mess." Honestly, it wasn't that complicated. He was well aware that most didn't care for his standards of cleaning, but at least they didn't get in his way about it. Auruo gave a look like he wanted to add something, then just sighed in annoyance and turned away. That was fine with Eren. Maybe he'd get annoyed enough to leave, and Eren could go over his poor attempt at wiping the walls down in peace.

The next room was probably worse. Eren winced as he saw one of the squad members- Gunter Shulz drag a mop almost lazily over the tiles. The worst was that he appeared to be trying, wasting time scrubbing a nasty scuff mark that Eren could immediately tell would only come out with a direct application of stain remover, and a brush. He could still see missed dry spots along the edges of the walls, along with thin strips of wet grime pushed against the corners- did he try to remove the mess by pushing it up against the wall instead of sweeping it into the center of the room and gathering it into the mop? Of course that would leave leftovers!

Finally, Eren coughed awkwardly, bringing attention to himself. "Sir, may I... take over this room?" The man gave him the strangest look. "Why? Out of work?" Eren shook his head. "No, I just saw, and you're..." He tried to think of something respectful to say that would get his point across, but gave up. "Doing it wrong. Sir."

Gunter raised his eyebrows. "Really? Looks fine to me." Finally, familiar territory. Doing his best not to appear too critical, Eren pointed out all of his earlier observations. With despair, he noted the other man's face twisting into a scowl. "Please don't tell me we have another clean freak on our hands." Surprised, Eren watched his expression turn to one of self suffering as he handed Eren the mop and left the room without another word.

By the time it got dark outside, Eren had finished that room and another by himself. That time he had been smart enough to choose a room that no one had gotten to. He wiped his brow, careful not to do it with the cloth that had been cleaning the windowsill just now. Now that Eren thought about it, wasn't dinner supposed to be at sunset? Well, he supposed there would be leftovers, it was specified that they were only to take breaks if the room was completely done. Eren made his way to the mess hall, careful to not look into any of the rooms. He did want to eat after all, not get distracted by more grime.

Most of the others were already eating by the time Eren got there. No one paid him any mind as he took a prepared plate. Although, when he made for the cleanest empty bench, there were already a few stares coming his way. Eren heard "newbie" being mumbled a few times, but not much else. Then the clang of doors sounded through the room, silencing everyone. Then whispers began again, only this time Eren could catch more of it.

"Oh crap, it's Corporal Levi."

"I wonder who he's going to pick on this time?"

Corporal Levi's strides came closer to where the soldiers were seated. Then they stopped. "Who was in charge of the study on the third floor in the right wing?" He asked in a monotonous tone. With dread in the air, one stood to attention. "How would you call that clean? It's horrible. You didn't even touch the chandelier." The man apologized with a "sir!" and immediately left the mess hall to redo his work. In that fashion, Corporal Levi sent back at least five others. Eren tried not to react, but was inwardly happy. Just as Eren had assumed from the way the others had talked, Corporal Levi was indeed the other "clean freak". Eren could really get used to working with someone who understood his plight to some degree.

"Finding something funny again, brat? Think you're cleaning is up to my standards, just because you didn't get called back?" Eren hadn't been able to completely control his satisfaction. Flustered at being put on the spot, Eren blurted out his first thoughts. "I know they are, sir." Then he proceeded to sweat, realizing just how obnoxious that sounded. Corporal Levi twitched, letting out a long "ohhh?" Eren already knew he had shoved his foot into his mouth, but there wasn't any point taking it back. Even though he didn't really know how much of a stickler Corporal Levi was for cleanliness, Eren was still confident. There was a limit on how clean a castle could become after all, and Eren knew he had hit it in the rooms left in his care.

"Well, if you're so confident, why don't we check your handiwork?" He beckoned, and silently, Eren followed. "Since you spent so much time on it, we're going to check the basement. And if there is so much as a speck of dirt, you will be cleaning it with your toothbrush for that cheek." Eren agreed, becoming nervous despite the knowledge that he knew there wouldn't be any such speck. At least, not one that Eren could catch, and he was damn good at catching specks by now.

Corporal Levi was in front of him, so Eren didn't get to see his expression as they stepped down into the basement room. He paused, almost causing Eren to bump into him. Corporal Levi was silent, suddenly drifting over to the wall and walking along it carefully. Eren decided not to move, knowing his work was being carefully scrutinized. Intervention would be useless. The Corporal finished walking the perimeter of the room, his mouth thinning into a tight line. Eren knew he had been expecting to find something already.

Instead of giving up, Corporal Levi began to inspect the floor, crossing in a careful grid pattern. Then he checked the table, the shelf, and the window bars. He gave extra scrutiny to the bed, and the floor under it. Finally, Corporal Levi turned back to Eren, only instead of frustration, he appeared calculating. His eyes narrowed even further than usual. "Follow me, brat." Corporal Levi strode out the door. Eren followed hastily, hoping to get back to his meal. That wasn't to be the case unfortunately, as Eren was lead to the upper floors. He wanted to question it- hadn't the room met his standards? But it was probably better to stay silent. Eren was stopped again, this time in front of a larger room, with a set of double doors.

"Tell me everything that has been missed in this room." Corporal Levi suddenly orders, throwing Eren for a loop. "Sir?"

"Am I not clear, Jaeger? I have yet to call those responsible for this room back. I want you to look around, and tell me every mistake in the cleaning. Don't miss anything." Eren could only nod. It wasn't very hard. Right away, he noticed that the grooves between the floor tiles where the mop couldn't reach hadn't been attended to, and there were still a few cobwebs on the ceiling. Dutifully, Eren rattled off each flaw as they appeared. A slightly off-colour stain by the bookshelf, some residue on the gauntlet of a set of armor, everything was glaringly obvious. Finally, Eren finished his report, turning back to the corporal. "I think that's all, sir."

Corporal Levi stayed blank for several moments, before finally giving a look of approval. "Not bad." He swept his eyes over the room, probably a last ditch effort to find something Eren had missed. "May I be excused now, sir?" Eren asked as politely as he could. He half expected his superior's mood to snap back to annoyance, but surprisingly enough, he nodded his assent. Before Eren could get out of the door, Corporal Levi spoke again.

"From now on, you will be cleaning with me. You will also be inspecting rooms, and I expect you to be exactly as thorough as you were just now. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir." And Eren was free. Slightly bewildered, but free.

It didn't take long for Eren's clean-freak reputation to spread to the rest of the survey corps staying at the castle. While he mostly got glares and rolled eyes for his inspections, Eren was still listened to when he told the others to repeat a task. It quickly got around that Eren was just as bad, if not worse than the corporal as far as attention to detail went. Most were more than willing to be asked politely by Eren than be verbally lashed by Levi.

Then things got better when his classmates that were joining survey corps came along. Mikasa and Armin listened sympathetically to his passionate speech over the state of the castle, and the rest would ignore it. Eren overheard someone ask Jean incredulously, "How did you all manage having a Levi-level clean freak, in your trainee years no less?" Jean shrugged. "I just tell him to shut his trap and deal with it. Wait a minute, are you saying that Corporal Levi is as bad as Jaeger?" he answered with a pained "we can't decide who's worse, honestly."

"Shit. There's two of them now. Can I just throw myself over wall Rose already?"


	2. Trying to socialize

Full title: In which Eren regrets trying to socialize

Summary: A big group of Garrison soldiers are over at headquarters for an extended stay, so naturally they and the survey corps through a bonfire party one night. Eren goes to check it out, if only to prove to the newcomers that he was at least mostly human. He fervently wishes that he hadn't bothered

It had been a long day of training. Eren used to think that the exercises from when they had been trainees was rigorous, but that was nothing to survey corps training. It made sense though, since the survey corps had by-far the highest mortality rate. The training schedule written up by Commander Erwin was designed to maximize one's chances of survival out in the field. Levi, the one specifically in charge of the squad's training, was just as motivated to follow said schedule to a T. Except when it came to Eren, in which case the training seemed to double for no other reason than "titan powers".

Eren wanted to just crawl into bed, but he knew he probably shouldn't. A group of Garrison soldiers were over at the castle to help build a more secure space for keeping titans, after the killing of Sawney and Bean (annoyingly enough, the names stuck even in death thanks to Hange). With the new faces here for a temporary stay, the rest of the squad was having a campfire night. It would be best to at least try to sit in for a bit, to show those outside of the survey corps that he was mostly a normal person.

Plus, if he went back to the headquarters, he's end up seeing the huge mess the newcomers had left without a care in the world. So when Eren finally finished his shower- and it had taken at least a half hour to completely purge himself of dirt- he turned to the courtyard instead of the basement. The bonfire was moderately sized, probably so that people wouldn't be reminded of the huge fires used for cremating bodies. Still, it was bright enough that Eren couldn't really make out all of the figures, although the silhouette trying and failing to cook something on a poker stick had to be Sasha.

Eren walked closer to the light source, wishing he had someone to sit beside. He knew Mikasa and Armin wouldn't be there. They were both tired. Mikasa would have come, but he had assured her that it would be fine. Eren wouldn't be able to make any progress in seeming more human with Mikasa protecting him. And in his opinion, Armin really needed the rest. Armin was his best friend at all, but he really struggled the most with training. No one noticed his arrival, due to the loud, boisterous conversation. Clearly alcohol was being shared here, and Eren almost shuddered. Nights of drinking always lead to disgusting bathrooms as people drank themselves sick.

"Are you kidding? It's worse than the rumors, trust me!" Jean's obnoxious voice rang out. " Being woken up in the middle of the night to Jaeger washing his bedding right in the barracks was bad enough in our trainee days. Now, it's more like being woken up in the middle of the night to the Corporal in our faces because there's a hair on the shower wall."

It was more in Eren's nature to immediately protest against their complaints. He wanted to shout "Hey, it is really gross to find hairs on the shower wall!", but maybe the corporal was rubbing off on him a bit, because instead he quietly settled down to see what else they would say. After all, it wasn't the first time Eren had been teased about his habits, so why not see what they'd say when they didn't know he was here?

"Seriously? Give me a story or two, come one!" The louder Garrison soldier cajoled. The others laughed in agreement. "Well alright, just a few days ago, it was Jaeger's turn to clean the bathrooms, right? And of course he's all chipper about it too, with the determined look and everything. He does that every time too, we call them his 'titan eyes'." Jean paused to give a sad impression of an angry look. "O-oh, you mean cause of the, uh, titan thing" Another Garrison soldier asked nervously, already uncomfortable with the subject. Only Jean snorted. "No, we came up with that ages ago. He's always so serious about killing titans, he always gives this evil look when they're brought up. Sometimes I swear Jaeger's got a titan fetish the size of Hange's, just in a more murderous way." Eren almost got up to punch Jean right then and there. He did NOT have a titan fetish!

"Anyways, like I was saying, Jaeger goes to clean the washroom. It ends up spotless in a stupidly short amount of time. Corporal Levi doesn't even check his work either. He hasn't ever since becoming corporal Levi's cleaning buddy." Now Eren wanted to laugh. They were probably just jealous, working with the corporal was an honour, even if it was just cleaning. Heck, especially since it was cleaning. Eren had never seen someone else with the same critical standards for their living spaces.

"So, right after he finishes and walks out, Connie runs in because he sick from being an idiot." Connie, sitting a little farther from the conversation immediately butts in with an indignant "Hey! I already told you, my book told me that mushroom was perfectly fine to eat. And I was hungry!" Another round of laughter erupted from the defense, amidst Connie's grumbled. "ANYWAYS," Jean brought the attention back to himself, "Connie was green all day, so the second Jaeger's finished, he runs in and hurls all over the toilet, halfway missing it."

"It wasn't that bad!" Connie protested. "Haha, it really was!" Sasha responded. "I should know, I was the only one there, besides Eren."

"Well, if the bucket you filled that morning was any indication, I'd say it was that bad." Jean countered. "Alright alright, the newbie got sick. What happened next?" The Garrison soldier prompted. "Right, right. After Connie lost his dinner, Jaeger runs back in because of the noise. He sees the mess and begins to freak out, then he runs closer and-" "Hey, I get to finish the story, it happened to me you know." Connie whined.

"Ugghh, fine." Eren could hear the rolled eyes in Jean's voice. "Okay okay, so my head was basically in the toilet, but I hear Eren coming back in. He's kind of panicking, asking if I was alright, but also freaking out cause of the mess. I think he slipped on the wet water or something, cause the next thing I know, Eren falls into me. I hit my head on the side of the toilet, but Eren falls right on top of it. When I turn around, he's lying half in the stuff that didn't make it, and there's toilet water and puke all over his hair. I don't blame him for screaming though, that's nasty, even for me." Eren shuddered, remembering the ordeal. It had been horrible, his head really had gone in the toilet for a moment.

"Oh yeah, but it's great because Jaeger screamed so loud, we thought he'd lost control." Jean took over the story again. "We all ran up, freaking out cause no one had their maneuver gears, only to find Jaeger flipping his shit, trying to spray himself off with tap water. He's still yelling up a storm the whole time, not listening to anyone until Corporal Levi gets there and drags him to the showers." Laughter filled the courtyard again. Eren huffed at the joy being taken at his expense. Finally, he gave up trying to be quiet. "It wasn't that funny, you know! Try being covered in someone else's vomit before you laugh."

The circle immediately froze. The Garrison soldiers flinched almost in unison, looking particularly skittish. Eren suddenly felt like he understood the corporal a little more- the way he got an entire group of trained soldiers, many of them older, to give the look of a child caught in the cookie jar was immensely satisfying. Then, Jean shrugged and laughed. "Pretty sure I wouldn't have tried showering in a sink, Jaeger.", and the spell was broken.

"So... you're the titan kid?" One asked, sounding unsure. Eren sighed, knowing this was the main reason he was out here. "Yeah, I am." He tried not to sound exasperated. He didn't know how many times people had run up to him at headquarters to ask that question. " So have you ever accidentally transformed over a dirty room?" A third person asked with a smirk in their voice. "What? Of course I haven't! For one thing, I have to hurt myself, and for another I have to have a goal in mind. I can't just transform purely from being angry." Eren was offended by the stupidity of the question. "Really? You don't transform when you get too angry?" The Garrison soldier sounded way too relieved. Eren made sure to give a nasty look in that direction, although they probably wouldn't see it. "Not entirely, anyways. I mean, if I'm angry in a way that has an end goal like when I transformed the first time to kill titans, then it works. But if it's just a trashed room, I get angry over the fact that it got messed up. There isn't enough of a goal there, or at least not one that a titan form can accomplish." Eren calmed down as he was trying to explain. Maybe if he was thorough enough, people would be less freaked out by him. After all, Eren didn't fancy being on the receiving end of a dozen swords just from losing his temper.

"Speaking of cleanliness though, why would you even become a soldier if you can't stand dirt?" Eren groaned. Another frequently asked question, at least when he was a trainee. "I've said this a million times before. It's not that I can't stand dirt or messes, I just need to have somewhere clean to live in when I'm not outside. As long as the building I stay in for an extended time is clean, I'm fine." There wasn't much the garrison soldiers could say to that. "Well, that's stupid." Jean commented, as he usually did when the topic came up. "The corporal doesn't think so" Eren couldn't help but mumble.

"Of course Levi doesn't think so. You're both a bunch of nut bags." An older survey corps soldier spoke. That portion of the circle started laughing. "Yeah, but Levi was never so bad before Eren showed up. I can't tell if it's because he has backup now, or he doesn't want to be outdone."

"No, no, it's gotta be because of weird, clean freak nesting habits. He's cleaning his home to impress a potential younger mate." The whole campfire group began to laugh uproariously, while Eren couldn't stop an embarrassed blush.

"Yeah, totally! It's like when a peacock shows it's feathers to attract mates. I bet that's what's really happening when they clean together- Corporal Levi's just trying to serenade Jaeger with his cleaning skills."

"Oh god, I can't breathe!"

"Jaeger, has the corporal" The voice paused to giggle again, "tried asking you out via sterile laboratory room?" Eren's entire face burned red. "Why-what-NO!" He stuttered. "Ha, imagine corporal Levi trying to get it on with Eren by dumping soapy water over him!"

"Oh, oh, or imagine them trying to kiss, but with a paper bag between them cause of it being unsanitary and all!" Eren stood up, unable to stand the current situation any longer. As he stepped away from the fire, he was accompanied by whines of "we're just messing with you!" as well as lewd comments of "say yes when the corporal tries to reproduce with you- you're an endangered species, after all!" Eren was already cherry red, so he just turned to enter the castle, only to bump into someone.

"C-corporal Levi! I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going!" Eren squeaked, his voice raised in much too high of a pitch. The entire campfire as a whole went dead silent, effectively startled. In less than a second, the heavy feeling of dread settled in. Even Eren felt like he was going to be killed by association, even though it certainly wasn't him doing the teasing.

Instead of immediately lashing out, Corporal Levi stepped closer to the crowd. Eren didn't move from his spot, half wondering if maybe the corporal hadn't actually overheard anything. That idea flew out the window, as corporal Levi commented easily, "So you think my method of kissing someone involves placing a paper bag over their head?" He was met by the sound of fire crackling. "Or do you think I would place the bag over my head?" More silence.

"If my methods of attracting partners is such an important subject to speculate about, would you prefer a demonstration?" No one moved a muscle. Corporal Levi sighed, then beckoned to Eren. "Get over here." Eren complied, fervently wishing that Mikasa really had come. She'd be the only one with the ability to rescue him at this point.

"Sir?" Eren questioned as corporal Levi yanked his arm the moment it was in range, pulling Eren beside him. He really hoped he wasn't about to get a punch to the face. If he was going to die, Eren wanted it done quickly. That's when the unexpected happened. A hand grasped the collar of Eren's shirt, pulling down harshly. Then Corporal Levi's mouth was on his. Distantly, Eren tasted alcohol. So the upper ranked officers were drinking too, he realized. Is that why they called such a long meeting tonight? Then Eren was released, and he straightened up immediately. The burning of before had compounded.

"Are you satisfied?" Corporal Levi asked, turning to the crowd. Upon hearing no response, he shook his head slowly. "For all that joking, you lot really don't have a sense of humor, do you?" Corporal Levi turned back to Eren, and he saw the corporal's mouth stretch into an amused smirk. "Go to bed, Jaeger, before you faint from blood loss."

Eren nodded rapidly, wasting no time. Behind him, Corporal Levi barked at the soldiers. "Clean up this mess, and get rid of the alcohol while you're at it. Really, you're supposed to be soldiers."

When Mikasa and Armin asked about the campfire the next morning, Eren only mumbled halfheartedly about it being boring. When Hange brought it up in the mess hall over breakfast, the entire room minus the officers clammed up. Only Corporal Levi calmly sipped at his drink, casually explaining, "Well, when I shut it down, they were drunk enough to be contemplating the mating rituals of endangered species. So I imagine it went well enough." Somehow, he caught eyes with Eren, who couldn't help but immediately blush cherry red. He buried his face in his hands.

Mikasa and Armin immediately started prodding him, asking "Wait, what happened last night?" and "Did someone do something to you?" Eren could only groan. "Nothing, I just wish I hadn't been the only sober person awake last night."


End file.
